Friday, April 29, 2011

Lack of Everythingosis

I have been plagued. The disease: Lack of Everythingosis.

I have not been a creative blogger for a few months, I haven't even blogged at all. And as a matter of fact, I can't actually say I've had anything funny or random to say.

This long Minnesota winter and this rainy "spring" have not encouraged anything creative and funny from me either.

I can't really pin-point the onset of this "lack of everythingosis" as I do work 2 jobs --1 full-time another part-time and go to school--all of which I have brought upon myself invitingly and willingly. For me--the more busy the more productive.

I have copious amounts of "treatments" and "medications" for this illness, some of which include buying our first house, being super close to finishing my Registered Nursing degree, spending time with family, the hopes of having a garden (and at least keeping one thing alive), and celebrating births and engagements with friends (always amazing and exciting).

My lack of everythingosis however, is over taking my sense of who I am, or mostly who I thought I was, and making me re-think some paths I have chosen in my life. I truly believe in things happening for a reason, and without some of these "paths" I am rethinking, I maybe would not have met my prince charming, or shared some of my greatest memories with amazing friends. And as much as I can rationalize these great outcomes I have received for my "path" choice, I have been miserable for the last 6 months for 40 hours each week.

I have somehow managed to let myself destroy values of which I held highly and enveloped myself in drama that I, by any means, do not need.

The cure at this time is unknown. A positive attitude and outlook seem a good antidote, however one can only be broken down so much before not even these can be helpful.

I suppose the incubation period for this is my fault. I don't actually suppose, I know it is my fault. You(me), are the only person that can be responsible for your happiness and how you are treated. But how do I reverse this "disease"now? Why can't it work itself out on it's own!!!

As I said, the cure at this time is still unknown. Many different "paths" are being thrown around and one of which I am praying for daily.

So not very creative and not funny, I end this post with hopes and prayers for a cure....(sigh)