Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Get off the Road...

For justification purposes, I have never been in a "serious" accident. (yes, knock on wood.)However I have backed into my parents shed. (Turned the wheel to soon...I wasn't even 16 yet okay!)

Today I write because frankly I'm sick and tired of bad drivers. In particular, drivers whom;
A) Do not merge until the last minute on a road where this is no new surprise.
B) Do not get out into the intersection on a yielding green light.

These two annoying, ridiculous and just flat out stupidious reasons are completely unnecessary. I drive the same route to work almost every day and every day there is some idiot whom speeds up beside me to swerve in front of me before his lane ends, and then normally he is the same idiot that now is ahead of me waiting at the green light, not moving.

I mean inch out or something. At least give it some effort, maybe it will at least ease my frustrations a bit. Maybe I would think you, dumb stupid driving idiot, at least attempted to turn on this green light.

Instead, you wait. You sit there. Are you thinking? Did you drop something? Was there an important phone call? Did you just have a heart attack?


You are a pathetic loser who wasted my time, again. Not only did you put me back 1 minute when you got ahead of me up the hill, but now you have put me back 5 minutes waiting at a green light!?!?

Do you know how important the 6 minutes that you made me sit in my cute little blue car pulling my hair out and yelling swear words left and right is?

Very....I can punch in at 7:53. If I punch in at 7:53 I can leave at 4:23. This is 7 minutes before my normal time and just enough time to get home and start my evening.

But, because you apparently have all the time in the world I end up punching in at 7:59, and unable to punch out until 4:29...

If you need to retake your driving test, by all means do so. I'm sick of getting behind you every morning. Next time, you will be taking the grass on the way up the hill. It's on.

Monday, June 21, 2010

My Sincerest Thank You

Dear Banana Boat-

I am writing to thank you for your services. You see, yesterday, (father's day) I spent basking in the sun afloat an air mattress in the pool. Of course I was unable to wear my watch and I did not have my glasses on to view the clock hanging on my parent's house and mistakenly did not put on sunscreen.

Last night and of course today and I'm sure tomorrow and at least the next, I look like and will still look like, a cherry tomato. My skin still has remnants of an awful burnt skin aroma and when my clothes rub against my body, I clench my teeth and hold back a scream of profanity.

I won't go into much detail about the shower this morning. Anyone with a sunburn once in there life knows how awful spraying warm water feels on your skin. I couldn't quite tell if I was crying or if that was just the luke warm water heating up as it ran across my face.

However, Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Lotion, I could not grin and bear it without you. I put layers upon layers of you on my skin after my painful shower to, for at least one second, feel relief of this burning sensation.

So thank you again Banana Boat Aloe After Sun Lotion, from my cherry tomato red body and face.



PS. If you could make me not peel too that would be great!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Dear Wine

Dear Wine:

Just writing to thank you for making me relax last night. I had a lot of fun. However, I'm not too happy about the headache, extreme thirst, and the awful taste in my mouth this morning. Next time I drink a bottle of you on my own, how about we come to an agreement to avoid the aftermath.

Just a little note. So as long as we are understood, maybe I'll drink another of you tonight!


Thursday, June 3, 2010

A Simple Email

As in my earlier blog postings, life has been "challenging" lately. Another friend was killed in an ATV accident last Saturday and I was reminded at his wake yesterday how many lives he touched. Many waited 4 + hours to say their good-byes and condolences to the family. He was an amazing 26 year old and will be greatly missed.

I recieved an email a few minutes ago which initiated this posting. The title, Thanks for being you! (thanks Mom and Sandy)

I never thought I would be so sensitive to an email, especially reading it at my desk at work. In all the busy days, the sweating the small stuff, the casual hi's and bye's, the taking time for granted, and then the loss of time you wish you could take back, the importance of the people in your life and the gratefullness you are to have them. So to everyone special to me in my life, Thanks for being you!

The email said:

"What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments,
but what is woven into the lives of others."

God doesn't give you the people you want; He gives you the people you NEED... to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. I LOVE YOU!!!!!

One Flaw In Women
Women have strengths that amaze men.....
They bear hardships and they carry burdens, but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in..
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member, yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give.


(sigh) Today will be a little bit better.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


I have decided in my past life I must have been a horrible person. I didn't however believe or still really don't believe in past lives but I cannot find any other explanation.

Karma, according to google of course, is the concept of action or deed, understood as that which causes the whole cycle of cause and effect. Also karma is noted as a religious concept in contradistinction to 'faith' espoused which view all human dramas as the will of God as opposed to present - and past - life actions. ( ya I only understood the last part of that too.)

I have no present life actions in which would justify karma's consequences. I may have fibbed a few times, drank before the age of 21, smoked before the age of 18, or had sex before marriage. But it is not like I killed anyone or robbed a bank. Okay, so I stole a tattoo from a package from Walmart once, but my Mom made me return it and apologize. I did karma's job on that one, trust me its pretty embarrassing having to apologize for stealing a fake tattoo.

I'm not saying that my life is bad, because it is not. I am very blessed to have my family and friends, an amazing boyfriend, a job, a roof over my head, and food on the table. But I have had alot of unfortunate events in my life and I guess I'm just trying to map out God's reasoning for this.

Is it to make me a stronger person? I mean I've dealt with alot and think I've "handled" it but is it so wrong to breakdown every once in a while? Throw things, cry out of frustration, want to pull your hair out or just flat out drink?

I just want answers. When is karma's consequences complete? Something extraordinary has to happen soon right?

I'm waiting.