Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Today I love my job.

I had a patient whom has been married to his wife for 58 years. (I know, holy cow!)

I asked him what the key to success was, and how they have lasted for so long..

He pointed to his ear (which is home to a hearing aide) and I said," Oh listening?"

He says, "No, you can shut this thing off when you want to!"

Monday, July 26, 2010


In case my post title was confusing for some, its a combination of Minnesota and Mosquito.

After being attacked, yes attacked this weekend by these crazy stupid little bugs from hell, I thought I would really dig into some research to avoid these creatures in the future. My legs look as if I have a case of the chicken pox, or as though someone used them as bee bee gun practice. I can feel a big welt behind my ear and I have unreachable bites on my back. My ankles are tattooed with red dots and when my scrub pants brush against them and slightly "itch" I must find the inner strength not to scratch scratch scratch.

So crazy bugs from hell, I'm googling the shit out of you...

1. Mosquitoes have been around for 30 million years. (This must be how they have "honed" there attack skills.)
2. Apparently they have "sensors" designed to attack their prey. (prey=me this weekend)
-chemical sensors- don't breath and watch out if you are a muscle builder...carbon dioxide and lactic acid can be detected 100 feet away! side note- when you exercise (power exercises) you produce more lactic acid, and everyone releases carbon dioxide, so I guess stop breathing?
-visual sensors-Blend in with your surroundings. If you wear bright and summery colors think again, contrasting from the background will make these crazy bugs pick you out more easily. I guess I'll be heading to cabelas for some camo....
-heat sensors- You guessed it, they can detect heat too...So I guess don't be hot when you go out into the 90 degree humid weather?!? I mean really?
3. Mosquito is Spanish for "little fly." (no kidding?)
4. Only female mosquitoes bite. She lands on your skin, sticks her proboscis into you (the proboscis is the sharp and thin needle like thing)then her saliva contains proteins that prevent s your blood from clotting. ( is this for real? they were made to suck our blood?!?!)
5. Many diseases can be spread by mosquitoes. Such as Malaria, Yellow Fever, Meningitis, and Dengue Fever. (Super, these diseases can all be fatal.)


Most websites that I found through google, stated the best way to avoid mosquitoes is to;
1. Wear clothing that covers your body. (die in the heat, but hey at least you won't get bit up!)
2. Use bug spray that contains DEET (but don't get it on your skin, because you could die!)
3.Eliminate sources of standing water....(so that creek by your house, figure out a way to eliminate it.)

So since all of that information really educated me on how to live a normal summer life and not get attacked by these bugs from hell...
I laughed.
All I can picture is a large campfire, no longer at the edge of a lake, with a cloud of DEET bug spray, and everyone dressed in black clothing from head to toe except for the eye holes.


Monday, July 19, 2010

Maya Angelou & Oprah

I received an email today, one of those forwards that sometimes many of us delete.

However, the title of this was, "Don't break the elastic please." Kinda catchy I thought..And found out, definitely worth the read.

Apparently, Oprah interviewed Maya Angelou on her 70th Birthday, which was in 2000. In this interview, Maya, nightclub singer to recording artist, poet, activist, and writer, explained to Oprah things she has learned over the years. Such as this;

-I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

-I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

-. I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

-I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life.

-I've learned that life sometimes gives you second chance.

-I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands.You need to be able to throw something back.

-I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

-I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

-I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

-I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

-I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

She also shared this poem, the reason the title for the email.

Don't Break the Elastic

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in
to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to grey and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
It's the outside's changed a bit.


If only we can all find the most positive explanations for our lives like Maya. Why each and every thing has happened and which road it will take us on next.

I sometimes want to know the future. Where and what will be in the next few years? Or how many years I have left?

I suppose if I knew these what would I have to look forward too? I would mourn at the loss of leaving my friends and family when I die, or not be surprised when I get married or find out that I am pregnant for the first time. Things like that, that I would suspect to be some of the greatest moments of my life.

Refreshing thoughts for a Monday..

Thursday, July 15, 2010

Word of the Day

Yes it is true, I am a email subscriber to

If you know me, you would never assume I have an extensive vocabulary.

And you were right, I do not.

However, I enjoy the vocabulary world. It amazes me. Why and when and what were the word creators thinking...(word creators? I would like to be one please!)

So..everyday I get a word of the day email from Mostly, I have never heard some of these ridiculous words, and they will not be appearing in my vocabulary anytime soon.

Here are some of the most recent:

brannigan \BRAN-i-guhn\, noun. A carouse. A squabble; a brawl.

vestigial \ ve-STU-ee-uhl\, adjective. Relating to a body part that has become small and lost its use. Pertaining to, or nature of anything that is no longer present or in existence.

snuff \SNUHF\,verb. To extinguish or suppress. To cut off or remove of.

bijou \BEE-zhoo\, adjective. Something small, delicate, and exquisitely wrought.

squelch \SKWELCH\, verb. To put down, suppress, or silence, as with a crushing retort or argument. To strike or press with crushing force; crush down. To make a splashing sound. To tread heavily in water, mud, wet shoes, etc with such a sound.

I know, I know. Most seem unusable. I would agree. However, you could use them as this:

I hate going downtown because I swear there are always brannigans.

Did Bob just show us his penis? Did you see it? It used to be so big and now it is so vestigial.

These thighs are so not bijou.

If you talk to me one more time, I will squelch the shit out of you!

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Dear Dress Shopping Adventure # 1,898:

F- you.


Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dress Shopping Adventure # 1,898

Dear Dress Shopping Adventure # 1,898:

This may sound as if I am begging....Okay, let's be for real, I'm on my knees.

In about an hour I am off to the mall. I would really really appreciate if you made this easy for me. Really, is it too much to ask?

Something flattering.

Something fitting.

Something classy.

Something cheap.

Also, a 3 store limit would be great. I don't have all night to spend looking in the mirror feeling disgusted, over stimulating myself with each and every flaw the fluorescent lights highlight in the 3 way mirror. ..Nightmare.

I hope we are understood. You must know I would greatly appreciate it.


Saturday, July 3, 2010

Vodka Lemonades, Stripper Poles, An Almost Newlywed and Mongolian Grill

The title describes itself. Welcome to the world of Bachelorette Party Land. In combination vodka lemonades, stripper poles, and an almost newlywed are more than likely never an intelligent adventure. Fun, yes. Smartest thing I have ever done, absolutely not.

A great Friday night, however, a not so great Saturday in "recovery." I mean how old am I? Almost 25 years old and still have not learned the concept of hangover prevention. Is drinking water all day prior to the event or liquor before beer so complicated? I have a college education in the medical field for heavens sake. Regardless, the events to follow happened and happened to be an awesome time.

1. Getting Ready: Instructions for the evening were to wear bright colors. I chose highlight yellow. Go big or go home right?! I decided to try something a little different with my hair and rocked out the big front poof..I may have not actually "rocked this out" but a few beverages helped.

2.Party : The evening started with the typical bachelorette party guidelines. Dirty presents, fun games, great food, and drinking of course. Also decorating the bride in penis attire was in order as well.

3. Bars: I have personally never known a bach party (that is short for bachelorette and will be used for the remaining of the post), to not venture to some bar of sorts. The bar scene helps to achieve the goals of the evening; a) get Bride drunk b) sell condoms, beads, etc c) be completely obnoxious d) a night to remember (through pictures). You can take shot after shot, and vodka lemonade after vodka lemonade...I can barely type this out without a queasy stomach.

4. Stripper Poll: I do not believe any detail is in order. Just imagine ten annihilated girls and one stripper poll on a stage.

5. Smart Shoes: I am dumb. I lack height so of course adding heels seems to be an intelligent idea. I do not need to look like a midget. At 1:59 last night I could barely walk. I looked like an old grandma as we tried to get a cab. One word: Idiot.

6. Cab: This is not always an easy task. At 2am downtown is a feeding frenzy for cab companies. However, they are not so punctual. In my feet throbbing, grandma looking, hobble to hail a cab I wanted to cry. Is this a game for them? Do they just wait in the darkness laughing at all of us intoxicated barely walking individuals. Hmm...I guess I probably would..

7. Food: Why is food so amazing when you are drunk? All I wanted was Pizza Pizza Pizza! When we did get home we ordered pizza, I passed out before it got here..Fail.

8. Passing Out: My boyfriend was already sleeping in bed and of course my annoying drunkeness instinct was to wake him up..Poor guy..I was rolling on top of him, laughing at nothing, telling him my feet were in awful pain and trying to sell the remainder of beads I hadn't used my amazing advertising skills on.

9. Waking up for the 1st time: What shit in my mouth? Did I pee the bed? Water, where is the water?

10. Waking up for the 2nd time: Headache, rolling stomach. Death. Big front poof, alot more big...

11. Saturday.Ugh Saturday. Hangover Recovery. Sleep. Eat. Repeat. Pedicure. Check. And thank you Mongolian Grill.

Friday, July 2, 2010


No no no, I did not at 24 get a facelift..My blog however, did.

This was NOT an easy task. I used google for about an hour trying to figure this out and I must say I'm quite impressed with myself...:)

I believe it is a true creation of my personality.

That is all for now, Happy Friday and have a safe and happy 4th of July weekend!

Thursday, July 1, 2010

Mastering the Art of Doing Something....

In recovery from hitting up the premiere of Eclipse at 12:10am early Wednesday morning, last night I layed low and picked up a movie from those handy dandy outside movie dispenser things.

Side Note: Eclipse was amazing, however, I am way too old to stay up till 3am and then get up for work....

Back to the laying low part...I had been contemplating picking up Julie & Julia for a long time now, however I didn't think my boyfriend would enjoy it, so last night boyfriendless, I finally rented it. (However, I do think he would have enjoyed it)

So here is a little synopsis of the movie to get things started.

Julie Powell is a wife and public servant. Following 911 she works with families of loved ones to get their insurance claims etc., however this isn't her calling. She had written half a novel without completion and no one wanted to publish it. She stumbles along a cookbook she stole from her mother, Mastering the Art of French Cooking, by Julia Childs. She decides to blog her way through Julia's cookbook, 365 days and 524 recipes. In this year she fights with her husband, has meltdown after meltdown, and calls herself a lobster killer...She is contacted by The New York Times, and the write up gains her instant stardom....

As a matter of fact, they make her story into a movie...Julie & Julia.

This whole movie is inspiring and uplifting, Julie, through Julia, has found whom she wanted to be... No, I do not think This Random Life will be hitting theaters anytime soon, or actually anytime ever. I am wondering though, if anyone I do not know reads my blog. ..So if you are out there, let me know!

During the movie I had pondered as to how even a book would come from my blog posts. A collection of short stories with no rhythm or reason? A book of a year of my life? (I do not think most would find that interesting..)

I realized though, thinking about the last 365 days of my life, from today to this day last year...This has been my best year so far and the time has gone by so fast. ..

I met some of my best friends in Mayish and then again in Januaryish....a few unhealthy relationships ended, gratefully. I started a new job that challenges me everyday, and I love, I am trying to finish my RN and about 7 months ago I met an amazing person whom I never want to be without and has changed my life.

I'm not going to cook my way through 524 recipes in 365 days, I'm not going to be in the New York Times, and my blog isn't going to be made into a movie....but like Julie the last year has made me into the person I wanted to be.

But someday, I'm going to Master the Art of Doing Something, whatever that may be.