Karma

I have decided in my past life I must have been a horrible person. I didn't however believe or still really don't believe in past lives but I cannot find any other explanation.


Karma, according to google of course, is the concept of action or deed, understood as that which causes the whole cycle of cause and effect. Also karma is noted as a religious concept in contradistinction to 'faith' espoused which view all human dramas as the will of God as opposed to present - and past - life actions. ( ya I only understood the last part of that too.)


I have no present life actions in which would justify karma's consequences. I may have fibbed a few times, drank before the age of 21, smoked before the age of 18, or had sex before marriage. But it is not like I killed anyone or robbed a bank. Okay, so I stole a tattoo from a package from Walmart once, but my Mom made me return it and apologize. I did karma's job on that one, trust me its pretty embarrassing having to apologize for stealing a fake tattoo.


I'm not saying that my life is bad, because it is not. I am very blessed to have my family and friends, an amazing boyfriend, a job, a roof over my head, and food on the table. But I have had alot of unfortunate events in my life and I guess I'm just trying to map out God's reasoning for this.


Is it to make me a stronger person? I mean I've dealt with alot and think I've "handled" it but is it so wrong to breakdown every once in a while? Throw things, cry out of frustration, want to pull your hair out or just flat out drink?

I just want answers. When is karma's consequences complete? Something extraordinary has to happen soon right?

I'm waiting.