Saturday, July 3, 2010

Vodka Lemonades, Stripper Poles, An Almost Newlywed and Mongolian Grill

The title describes itself. Welcome to the world of Bachelorette Party Land. In combination vodka lemonades, stripper poles, and an almost newlywed are more than likely never an intelligent adventure. Fun, yes. Smartest thing I have ever done, absolutely not.

A great Friday night, however, a not so great Saturday in "recovery." I mean how old am I? Almost 25 years old and still have not learned the concept of hangover prevention. Is drinking water all day prior to the event or liquor before beer so complicated? I have a college education in the medical field for heavens sake. Regardless, the events to follow happened and happened to be an awesome time.

1. Getting Ready: Instructions for the evening were to wear bright colors. I chose highlight yellow. Go big or go home right?! I decided to try something a little different with my hair and rocked out the big front poof..I may have not actually "rocked this out" but a few beverages helped.

2.Party : The evening started with the typical bachelorette party guidelines. Dirty presents, fun games, great food, and drinking of course. Also decorating the bride in penis attire was in order as well.

3. Bars: I have personally never known a bach party (that is short for bachelorette and will be used for the remaining of the post), to not venture to some bar of sorts. The bar scene helps to achieve the goals of the evening; a) get Bride drunk b) sell condoms, beads, etc c) be completely obnoxious d) a night to remember (through pictures). You can take shot after shot, and vodka lemonade after vodka lemonade...I can barely type this out without a queasy stomach.

4. Stripper Poll: I do not believe any detail is in order. Just imagine ten annihilated girls and one stripper poll on a stage.

5. Smart Shoes: I am dumb. I lack height so of course adding heels seems to be an intelligent idea. I do not need to look like a midget. At 1:59 last night I could barely walk. I looked like an old grandma as we tried to get a cab. One word: Idiot.

6. Cab: This is not always an easy task. At 2am downtown is a feeding frenzy for cab companies. However, they are not so punctual. In my feet throbbing, grandma looking, hobble to hail a cab I wanted to cry. Is this a game for them? Do they just wait in the darkness laughing at all of us intoxicated barely walking individuals. Hmm...I guess I probably would..

7. Food: Why is food so amazing when you are drunk? All I wanted was Pizza Pizza Pizza! When we did get home we ordered pizza, I passed out before it got here..Fail.

8. Passing Out: My boyfriend was already sleeping in bed and of course my annoying drunkeness instinct was to wake him up..Poor guy..I was rolling on top of him, laughing at nothing, telling him my feet were in awful pain and trying to sell the remainder of beads I hadn't used my amazing advertising skills on.

9. Waking up for the 1st time: What shit in my mouth? Did I pee the bed? Water, where is the water?

10. Waking up for the 2nd time: Headache, rolling stomach. Death. Big front poof, alot more big...

11. Saturday.Ugh Saturday. Hangover Recovery. Sleep. Eat. Repeat. Pedicure. Check. And thank you Mongolian Grill.

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