Minneskeeta

In case my post title was confusing for some, its a combination of Minnesota and Mosquito.

After being attacked, yes attacked this weekend by these crazy stupid little bugs from hell, I thought I would really dig into some research to avoid these creatures in the future. My legs look as if I have a case of the chicken pox, or as though someone used them as bee bee gun practice. I can feel a big welt behind my ear and I have unreachable bites on my back. My ankles are tattooed with red dots and when my scrub pants brush against them and slightly "itch" I must find the inner strength not to scratch scratch scratch.

So crazy bugs from hell, I'm googling the shit out of you...

1. Mosquitoes have been around for 30 million years. (This must be how they have "honed" there attack skills.)
2. Apparently they have "sensors" designed to attack their prey. (prey=me this weekend)
-chemical sensors- don't breath and watch out if you are a muscle builder...carbon dioxide and lactic acid can be detected 100 feet away! side note- when you exercise (power exercises) you produce more lactic acid, and everyone releases carbon dioxide, so I guess stop breathing?
-visual sensors-Blend in with your surroundings. If you wear bright and summery colors think again, contrasting from the background will make these crazy bugs pick you out more easily. I guess I'll be heading to cabelas for some camo....
-heat sensors- You guessed it, they can detect heat too...So I guess don't be hot when you go out into the 90 degree humid weather?!? I mean really?
3. Mosquito is Spanish for "little fly." (no kidding?)
4. Only female mosquitoes bite. She lands on your skin, sticks her proboscis into you (the proboscis is the sharp and thin needle like thing)then her saliva contains proteins that prevent s your blood from clotting. ( is this for real? they were made to suck our blood?!?!)
5. Many diseases can be spread by mosquitoes. Such as Malaria, Yellow Fever, Meningitis, and Dengue Fever. (Super, these diseases can all be fatal.)

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Most websites that I found through google, stated the best way to avoid mosquitoes is to;
1. Wear clothing that covers your body. (die in the heat, but hey at least you won't get bit up!)
2. Use bug spray that contains DEET (but don't get it on your skin, because you could die!)
3.Eliminate sources of standing water....(so that creek by your house, figure out a way to eliminate it.)

So since all of that information really educated me on how to live a normal summer life and not get attacked by these bugs from hell...
I laughed.
All I can picture is a large campfire, no longer at the edge of a lake, with a cloud of DEET bug spray, and everyone dressed in black clothing from head to toe except for the eye holes.

Super.