Monday, March 15, 2010

No Shows

No Show- lack of picking up a phone, dialing a number, leaving a short message, and complete and utter disrespect for your health care provider.

Now don't get me wrong. I know there are emergencies that prevent one to be able to make a 45 second phone call stating they are unable to make their appointment. These "emergencies" do not include things such as your child or pet consuming your phone, hangovers, feeling sick (I mean do I really have to explain that one?!?), or being embarrassed. ( What did you swallow and/or stick in you and where?)

Some of you may not know the amount of time and effort that is put into each and every one of your visits to the doctor. First let us start with scheduling. You call and make an appointment ( you use the same phone you should have used to cancel or reschedule when you decided to no show...weird.)this appointment of course being farther out in the month than you would have liked it to be...(maybe if Bob,Tom, and Mary would have called and actually canceled their appointment for this afternoon, the doctor could have seen you)so you try and reason or bargain with the scheduler saying how sick you are and why you should have precedence over the patients that are already on the schedule.(Question? Do you think the scheduler actually has the power to be like okay Bob, I guess the rectal bleed can wait, we will put you in later today.....absolutely not...) The best he or she can do is transfer the phone call to a nurse where you can retell your sad sad story to when the answer still is 10 days from now....(I do care about my patients although this maybe a dramatic portrayal)

So with your ten day out appointment you hang up the phone disgusted and feeling unimportant. Why do I,(Bob), have to wait ten days for my appointment, I mean what if I too would have a rectal bleed right now?!
In the meantime, the nurse, such as I, is documenting your phone call, collecting your records from all the health care facilities you have visited over the last 10 years, and compiling all your information for your special day. This process can take anywhere from 15-60 minutes per patient. Sometimes we can see around 16 patients in a clinic do the math..( I only say that because I'm not mathematically inclined)

So your(Bob) special day has finally arrived. You have patiently awaited your beaming steps into the lobby, the 50 registration questions (some such as what religion are you, or in case of an emergency who should we contact), the outcome of your temperature, pulse, and blood pressure, or the fate of a needle stick...The nurse has your chart up and ready, the doctor browsing your history, preparing to answer some of your most toughest questions....and guess what BOB..You didn't #$@%# show up!

Would it have been so hard Bob for you to call? Just a simple 45 second phone call. The cycle continues and the next Bob calls wanting to be seen right away. Well ya know what Bob #2, maybe if Bob #1 would have called to cancel we could have taken care of you today....lesson to learn here people...&*$%# call okay!

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