Pilates, Sarcasm, and Food

Nothing like a good workout from an at least 55 year old ripped out of her mind pilates nazi. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy her very much. 5 second break..I don't think so, she will single you out before you even get a chance to THINK you are taking a 5 second break! For some of you that believe pilates is just women getting together and stretching...think again.. According to whatisholistic.com, Pilates is an exercise system that is focused on building strength without bulk, improving flexibility and agility, and helping to prevent injury. It involves a series of controlled movements that engage both your body and mind.

Now I must disagree with the engaging your mind part. We listen to music from Micheal Jackson to the Spice Girls. It's pretty hard to focus on breathing and relaxation when all you want to do is sing, "Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want,So tell me what you want, what you really really want" or "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends, Make it last forever friendship never ends,If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give,Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is." So maybe that was a little much... But you get my point.

I would also add into the definition, after the engage both your body and mind part...you use muscles that you do not even know you have. Your body will shake, you will feel like a wet noodle, and there is a possibilty you may not be able to walk the next day. . Yep that pretty much would sum it up! And no I'm not being dramatic, every Tuesday and Thursday I get my butt kicked at Pilates.

On to sarcasm. I mean for real, I'm a very sarcastic person. There really isn't anytime that I'm not saracastic. I'm even sarcastic with my patients....(only appropriately of course!) But there comes a time in everyones sarcastic life where you need to be serious or "for real" because sometimes certain things are not a sarcastic matter..( i just wrote sarcastic 5 times in a row..oops now 6!) Just for clarification's sake I will make a list of things that are sarcastic (7) and when sarcasm should not be used.

Good times to be sarcastic (8)
1. 50th Birthday Party ( I mean at least you can get AARP now) -thats old people insurance for you people that dont know..
2. When you're annoyed ( ya ha go ahead bob stick your head in the paper shredder)
3. When talking about your weight ( If I gain 5 more pounds my thighs will start a fire when I speed walk)
4. Making a mistake ( I meant to do that)
5. Having a colonoscopy ( who wouldn't want to take a nuclear laxative that makes you seem like a space shuttle ready for lift off)

Bad times to be sarcastic (9)
1. Death (never say, well at least Jim went out with a bang) -Jim died while hunting.
2. During Sex (never say, Does something smell fishy?)..
3. When talking about significant others parents ( I hope you don't look like that when youre old)
4. Love
5. At Work ( who am i kidding...i'm always sarcastic(10) at work!)

So you get the point. As much as I am always sarcastic (11)I do like to be "for real." Maybe I'm a bit sensitive when it comes to things that I take seriously, or things that mean alot to me like my family, significant other, and friends, my education (well actually I can get pretty sarcastic(12)about nursing school), or my feelings..because lets get "for real" here for a second..sometimes we all use sarcasm as a cover up for how we really feel. Ha, I'm kinda like Dr. Phil or something.

Now Food...Is it me or does this crappy weather make you want to eat everything is sight?!? It probably is me, like I said I have struggled with being fat most of my life...maybe not when I was an infant but probably since being a toddler! Regardless, lately I want to eat everything! And no, there is no baby.

I am involved with weight watchers and I somewhat compare it to AA. No, you don't go to the meeting and say, " Hello my name is Andrea, I have an eating problem." "I haven't been hungry since I can't even remember." But you do I think, need to go for the rest of your life, as in my case anyways.

Weight Watchers is about life style changes and still being able to eat what you want. Sometimes I still eat too much of what I want. Or of course I'll choose Dill Pickle chips over carrot sticks or beer over water. Its a slow process and an everyday struggle with myself. I do not have an angel on my right shoulder or a devil on my left, I have a fat girl on my right and a skinny bitch on my left and so far I think the fat girl is winning...maybe pilates will make the skinny bitch stronger...